PVC Pipes and Gerbils Straight Outta Hawthorne: A Cautionary Tale (NSFW)

This is a first on Two-Wheeled Tourist...a post that I will warn you in advance may not be suitable for prying eyes at work. Considering that I'm now on the sixth year of this blog, I've pretty much thrown caution to the wind to a certain extent when it comes to what I decide to write about on here. I will have to admit though, this made my pre-hockey game dinner on a breezy Friday night in El Segundo quite hilarious as the final part of this story this went down while I was in between bites of grilled catfish, rice, and zucchini at California Fish Grill and reading through Fifty Shades Freed.

So allow me to place some context on this story. I returned to online dating several months ago and so far, I've had my share of small successes and busts. I've met some interesting people and quite a few jerks. I had been out of the dating game long enough that I forget that many use the anonymity of what I call the "online curtain" as an opportunity to simply be disgusting as it's very easy to appear and disappear with no consequence.

Many of those types of messages I usually receive I'll avoid, block, and forget. However, after receiving several messages from this user from the pits of Hawthorne, CA who had several inappropriate, probing questions about my derriere - the pun was intentional. I figured it was a good day to throw the verbal ax at him and humor myself at the same time. (I will be nice and not reveal his identity...unless you ask me directly.)