On why I can't talk to my mother (and tips on how to prevent your adult kids from shutting you out).

For more of a background story to this piece, click to read my blog post, "How to suck at parenting. Effing badly."

I didn't need to hear from my mother on the day before my 31st birthday.

Now hear me out, it's not often that I do hear from her (or from anyone else in my immediate family at that). Usually they'll call in the event of a tragedy or if a computer needs to be fixed, which I then ignore due to my work schedule. Most, if not all conversations aren't very positive after I see the dreaded number on my caller ID, and any sort of dialogue dissolves very quickly within a matter of minutes.

Parents who close their doors for all the wrong reasons. Disowning is douchebaggery.

Browsing on my Twitter feed again, I came across a segment on Huffington Post about a Caucasian woman who was disowned by her father because she was in a serious relationship with an African American man. To make this even worse, this pathetic "dad" shunned his daughter BY PROXY (a phone call via the stepmom) that although he was no longer in speaking terms with her, he still "loved" her.

LOVED HER? Unconditional love does not come with an asterisk or any fine print. And with the archaic world viewpoints that this father harbored for so many years and tried to drill into his daughter's head, it is a pity that he grapples to those beliefs even more strongly than that "love" for his daughter. Believe me, ma'am, you're better off without that poison in your life. If you'd like to watch the entire segment, click the video below.



We as humans all fear rejection. Some are lucky to get small doses of it, and some people like me get a cheap vodka-bottle sized serving all at once. Those parallels between this woman's relations with an interracial boyfriend are very similar in my life. Based on a simple choice of not practicing a religion that I had shoved forcibly into my mouth since my youth and chose to not continue to follow in my adult years, I was completely rejected from the gene pool that raised me.

Avoid the mistakes my "parents" made: Go to your kid's wedding. It's more than worth it.

I found this video after following a link off a Twitter feed and quite inspired it, one reason being that I'm a videographer who has done several weddings. But aside from that, I was intrigued by the backstory of this moment captured on film. The bride's father was obviously missing from this moment as he had passed away just weeks before the wedding of pancreatic cancer. In response to this, her brother recorded a rendition of their father's favorite song, "Butterfly Kisses" by Eric Carlisle, while she danced with several of the important male family members in her life, including her new father-in-law. I have to admit, it did bring a tear to my eye watching this beautiful moment unfold in gorgeous, cinematic videography (awesome camera and editing job by Michael LaFrance).

I myself have a bit of a common tie with bride in this video; we both have parents who did not attend the wedding.

How to make religion fun again - with motorcycles.

I've had some interesting run-ins with Christian based motorcycle groups.

One of my favorite stories was my rest stop at Zion Harley-Davidson in Washington, Utah in 2009. I was riding from Los Angeles to Columbus, OH and parked at this dealership to take a break. (When you're a long-distance rider, you learn very quickly that H-D dealerships along interstates are great places of refuge, regardless of what motorcycle you ride!) I was still two hours from my final destination for the night in Salina, UT, and as I got up to leave, a representative from the local Christian Motorcyclist Association chapter stopped me and invited me over for a BBQ they were roasting near the dealership's front entrance. I ended up sticking around for another half hour and chatted it up with other riders about my journeys while filling myself up with a free dinner. My experience was so positive that I even got out of there with H-D dip dot* from that location stuck to my bike's fairing and is still there to this very day.


*NOTE: A dip dot is a small emblem that is placed over a Harley-Davidson motorcycle's oil dipstick cover. Dealerships have their own dip dots that help identify the origin of the bike's sale. Riders have been known to collect these as a reminder of where they've traveled on their bikes. Here's an example (left).


Anyway, the easiest way to make something relevant and motivational to a group of people is to (1) be happy and positive, (2) find a common theme or interest that binds everyone together, and (3) hold activities that brings everyone together. In this case, the draw for this group is the love for two wheels, the chance to ride down the open road with others, and charitable work that benefits others with special needs and/or are less fortunate. When I was growing up, the only church fundraisers in my Catholic parish (which I will not name to save them the embarrassment) I dealt with only benefited the church's maintenance department and paying for some priest's vacation - no joke.

A couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to attend a Saturday Night Biker Blessing event hosted by the GEARS Motorcycle Ministry who are based out of the Grove City Church of the Nazarene.

I'm standing in the worship center in my Aerostitch suit and surrounded by other like-minded motorcyclists in their respective vests, colors, and patches while watching a choir and full-blown concert. And these guys are really into it too!

One of the few places where your church clothes is your riding gear. WIN.

I will admit that I'm not at the point in my life to seek any sort of religious group or return to a regular routine of weekly worship - I'm still suffering from the scars of a decade of deceit and hypocrisy that have separated me from the people who are biologically related to me. However, it is refreshing to know that there are people out there who still use Christianity as a banner of goodwill and charity toward other human beings regardless of their faith (or lack thereof), which Catholicism has failed at miserably over the last several years and still continues to do.

GEARS is one of several motorcycle-based ministries in the Columbus region. Other wonderful groups I have had the opportunity to meet are Leave a Mark Ministries and Sons of Thunder. I recommending checking them out to see what they're about, and at the minimum, meet a few new friends.

If you'd like to continue hearing about my issues with my former "faith" (and aren't easily offended by personal opinion), you can continue clicking below. Otherwise, go out there and make some new friends at a motorcycle ministry.