Tales from the Battle Wagon - how a slightly broken BMW repaired a part of my heart.

I may call myself the Two-Wheeled Tourist, but I wouldn't be where I am now without a little help from my four-wheeled companion, a 1999 BMW 528i (E39) wagon in Oxford Green Metallic.

I acquired this vehicle in May 2011 as a replacement to my beloved 2003 Subaru Outback that found its demise in a collision in the middle of Columbus, Ohio after an impromptu makeout session with a 1993 Honda Civic hatchback at the hands of a roommate. Luckily, I wasn't the one driving the car when this happened; however, the things that did happen to me not much long after the acquisition of this BMW were a clear sign that my time inhabiting the Midwest was coming to an end.

Here's the wagon the day I bought it. I set it free, and it would return the favor several years later.

I was the third owner of this wagon, inheriting it at 102,000 miles on the odometer. It was far from perfect; several hundred dollars from the remainder of my insurance claim check were invested to replace broken pieces, the radiator, and other minor details (thank you eBay and Bavarian Autosport). At first, I didn't like this car very much, but the reasons were more emotional than logical. I missed my Subaru and was quite bitter about the way that car met its end - like in many aspects of my life in Ohio, out of my control and without a satisfying solution or conclusion. This "replacement" of a wagon took a little getting used to because of its larger frame and heavier handling than the nimbler Outback that took me through college and my first foray into a teaching career. The new (to me) car had a large set of tires to fill; replacing what was my escape vehicle before I became a full-fledged motorcyclist was going to be a tough undertaking.

Five Motorcycle Problems that California Riders Won't Understand.

I write this piece as a native Californian and a transplant to Ohio.

It is difficult to describe many of the freedoms that motorcycle riders have in California as motorcycling is pretty much a seasonal, recreational activity in the Midwest.

For me, motorcycle riding back home was not just for fun (although it sure as heck is). It was my most economical method of transportation and my time saver. It allowed me to travel to far away places very cheaply and explore the world in a whole different way. Although I can still do that out here, I am challenged by three things: the unpredictability of weather, traffic laws, and the mentality of cagers.

So without further adieu, here are several things many native California motorcyclists (who have never ridden anywhere else) will not understand...

A typical November day in Ohio. Not to worry, it'll be 65°F and sunny tomorrow.

Quick Bites: Lure Bistro (Willoughby, OH)

I had wanted to head over to Lure Bistro in nearby Willoughby for their seasonal All-You-Can-Eat crab leg special. I finally was able to make one and had my fill. Lure Bistro is also known for their special seafood-based dishes, but for this visit I was scarfing crab legs. I'll go back for the sushi and the lobster nachos another time. Meanwhile, here is a preview of some of the goodies.

House salad with several types of lettuce and an original vinegarette.

Sorry about the mess. I managed to nearly fill a beer bucket of crab pieces. There was cole slaw and french fries included too. I have no idea where those went either, but they were sure tasty.

I even managed to score a "Cookie Monster" dessert which consists of two freshly-baked chocolate cookies with dulce de leche gelato sandwiched in between them.

I did enjoy the ambiance of the outdoor bar and it's on my wish list for a nice romantic dinner if someone *cough cough* would take me there.

For more information about Lure Bistro, visit http://www.thelurebistro.com/. Did I mention they offer free valet parking?

UPDATE (9/29/13)! I had the chance to revisit this place with a friend where we went for a clambake with clams, crab legs, sushi (spicy tuna roll and crunchy eel roll), and complementing sides of mashed sweet potatoes and a Crème brûlée cornbread. Super fresh seafood and surprisingly addicting sides. Let this photo add to your temptations. I have a feeling I'm going to frequent this place.

Quick Bites: BurgerFi (Mentor, OH)

Brand new burger joint here in NE Ohio! And it's ahhhhmazing! If you're here in Mentor, check out Burger Fi (8748 Mentor Ave.) for super-thick frozen custard, burgers made from naturally-grown beef, and fresh fries. Very delicious. Enjoy the eye candy.

That's just a regular cheeseburger sitting next to some Urban Fries (fries sprinkled with parmesean cheese and doused in garlic aoli sauce). Good grief. That's not even right.

Drag your friends in for food you'll be talking about for several days!

Quick Stops: Squire's Castle (Willoughby Hills, OH)

Just because I'm still waiting for Eleanor to return to Cleveland (she's still down in Columbus for repairs) doesn't mean I can't continue to be a tourist in my own local area.

On a random, rainy weekend when Matt was up here, we started driving around the area behind the West End YMCA in Willoughby and came across the North Chagrin Reservation of the Cleveland Metroparks. In one of them was an interesting site called Squire's Castle, the stone remnants of a residence that once belonged to Feargus B. Squire, one of the founders of the Standard Oil Company. Here are a few of my photos from that visit. I hope to come back here on the motorcycle, after the leaves grow back on the trees.

The sign leading up to the castle. Time to invade it! (I had to say it, didn't I?)

Some short history of Squire's Castle on one of the walls.

This place has multiple floors, but they're not [easily] accessible.

It's a strange structure that looks very out of place, but could you imagine that view outside your window every morning?

I think if I stare at this a bit longer we could be surrounded by Normans. Or Saxons.

Old entrances are filled in, but it would be safe to assume there were rooms up there.

A well-placed path. You could see the enemy coming! Arrows on the ready?

So there you have it...a castle. In Cleveland. Because you can.

Eggshelland: The End of Cleveland's Unique Easter Tradition

I will never think of eggs the same way again.

Earlier this week, I was invited to visit an Easter tradition in nearby Lyndhurst (suburb of Cleveland) that is ending after 55 years. Affectionately known as "Eggshelland," it is a front yard display of designs made entirely of individually painted eggshells. It's tucked away in a cul-de-sac but if you asked anyone where to find it, they'd be more than happy to point you in the right direction. Started as a labor of love by its original creator, Ron Manolio, in 1957, this 2013 presentation marks not only the end of an astonishing run (Ron passed away in August 2012), but a beautiful tribute to the father (and grandfather) that started this world-famous artistic display.

Easter is here when Eggshelland, Ohio comes to town.

Calendar says it's Spring, Ohio begs to differ.

The coming of Spring in Ohio, especially up here by Lake Erie, is as highly regarded an occasion as of the start of the OSU Buckeye football season. But unlike the football season in Ohio, I actually look forward to this event.

There seems to be a slight problem, though. It isn't here yet. I write this on Sunday, March 24, 2013 where it's 29°F in Eastlake and at the moment (thank goodness), no precipitation. These temps are extremely unusual this time of year, and it seems like we're going backwards. Hey Captain Picard, can you explain this snag in the space and time continuum?

My thoughts, exactly.

Just for your amusement, here are some shots of the first three days of Spring in nearby Mentor.

Work on Wednesday March 20, the first day of Spring.

Work on Thursday, March 21, the second day of Spring. Do we sense a pattern here?

Friday, March 22 required plow service. Are you kidding?

I shall ask the following questions now:

1. Who pissed off/lost a bet to/broke up with/trash talked/otherwise disrespected Mother Nature and turned her in to Mother F*cking Nature? Can you just say sorry now?

2. How much is the bounty on Punxsutawney Phil or Buckeye Chuck? I could use the money to purchase parts to build a new computer since I'll be sitting here instead of RIDING MY MOTORCYCLE!!!

There is a silver lining to these clouds, actually. For the first time in a while, my two-wheeled buddy Eleanor does get a few replacement parts and brand new tires that won't have to be taken care of mid-"season" (I still don't believe in riding seasons regardless of what the weather tells me). But believe me, as soon as this stuff thaws out, the tires are getting road scrubbed and I'm out. Stay warm for a bit longer, people.

My hockey coach once told me that if I shot any animal, I'd have to eat it. Does groundhog taste like chicken or pork? Just raise him up a little higher; I don't want to take out the bystanders.

Video Killed the Hockey Goal Judge: My Stint in the WCHA

For the last two seasons, I have had the privilege of acting as a goal judge for home games for the NCAA Division I women's ice hockey team of The Ohio State University. Here's what it entails:

1. Watch the play.
2. Watch the puck being shot at the net.
3. If the puck completely crosses over the goal line, hit the goal light button and make a bunch spectators happy. And depending on the period, it could either be fans of the home team or the opposing one.
4. If video replay is unable to determine a goal, I get asked via intercom to provide my summary of the play and confirmation of whether or not the puck went in.

Food Review: Menchie's Frozen Yogurt (Willoughby, OH)

After a workout and a yoga session a few weeks ago, I went to hang out with my co-worker at Menchies in Willoughby. Never tried this place, and apparently they're all over California too. In terms of frozen yogurt bars, I admit to never walking into a Pinkberry (a similar store) back at home because the lines were always out the door, but now I understand why people like places like this so much. Fortunately nobody wanted to stand in line for frozen yogurt in late January up here.

When you walk into the place, you're immediately greeted by a worker and all of your yogurt choices against the wall in self-serve machines. It's simple to start your yogurt journey, just grab a cup (with a waffle cone or a brownie at no extra charge) and have at it.

Here are some of the featured flavors at this location. They do get rotated on a regular basis, and there is always your basic chocolates and vanillas, but some of these are quite unique.

After choosing the yogurts, go for the toppings.

My little combination was a sampler of several types of yogurts, some hot fudge, and a few fresh fruit pieces. You can pile as little or as much as you want in your cup because of their loose pricing structure: they charge you by the ounce. (It's 45 cents an ounce at this location.) So, if you came in with pocket change, take it easy on the cup.

Menchie's also has a series of mascots that grace multiple types of merchandise ranging from buttons to shirts, hats, and even Christmas tree ornaments. It's very cute, and with the atmosphere being very open and casual, it's great to take a friend or a date. And those funny mascots they even greet you on the way to the bathroom. It's also a great place for kids to hang out (there's a chalkboard/activity center in the corner of the store).

I definitely recommend this healthier alternative to regular ice cream. For more information about this self-serve yogurt chain, visit their website at http://www.menchies.com/.

CCW Class and Basic Gun Training with 4YourDefense (Mt. Sterling, OH)

This is what I did with Matt and our guns this weekend. We got to know them a little better.

I have never shot my pistol in 20 degrees with a 10MPH wind, but it was definitely an experience to be out there being tested for basic marksmanship and proper gun handling in the freezing cold.

As part of the path to obtaining a CCW (carry concealed weapon) license in the state of Ohio, we took the required 12-hour training course with 4YourDefense, a CCW license certification course run by the husband of one of Matt's co-workers. Aside from bringing other coworkers along to enjoy the day with us, it's also the least expensive place to take the class in Central Ohio. With the thoroughness of the material, the comprehensive course, and the experience of both of the instructors who taught both the classroom and range portions of the day, it was well worth the time and the drive from Columbus to Mt. Sterling, about 30-40 minutes south of the city.

The class itself went through several modules. At the beginning, we went through the basics including understanding the parts of a gun, how a bullet is fired, basic gun grip, and firing techniques. We then went to the outdoor range to put those lessons into practice and to pass the qualification portion of the course which involved shooting at a target approximately 7ft. away (the average distance of an assailant in a conceal carry situation) while demonstrating the safe way to handle a gun. After the range exercises, we returned to the classroom to discuss the reality of making the conscious decision to carry a firearm every day and the scenarios when a gun would have to come into play. It was a very eye-opening course that really made me more aware of what I need to do as a citizen to decrease my chances of being victimized in a crime.

The choice to obtain a CCW license is not a light one. It is a heavy responsibility to carry a weapon at all times for personal defense. It is also one with a bit of a stigma with even the thought of carrying a weapon in a public area. Unfortunately, my home state (California) does not have a very favorable image of guns because of the amount of crimes that are committed with them (and the innocent people who are victimized because of their inability to use them). I wonder how long it will take until someone realizes that "Gun Free Zone," as safe as it may sound in theory, is a euphemism for "I'm vulnerable, please attack now."

So that leads me to my take on firearms. Agree or disagree if you'd like. And really, I don't need to hear the debate about "guns are bad, they kill people, ban them, etc." I'm not big on political arguments and this is simply my opinion. Save yourself the time and don't try to sway me the other way, because I'm not going to waste energy to change your mind.

There are many people out there who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. I know this because I've lived a good portion of my life with people who stuck to their choices although they were very destructive. The downright unwillingness to admit a mistake is a hubris that comes from an excessive amount of pride and the need to make oneself look better than others. But for me, the definition of a great person is one who can temper that high regard for oneself with the understanding that it does not make one a lesser (wo)man by needing to reassess and adjust their ways if the occasion arises.

With that being said, it is, and always has been, an easy cop-out to blame the objects used in a catastrophic event rather than the carelessness of the operators who utilize them. As a motorcyclist, I hear this argument all too well, when I get the non-motorcyclists who tell me that I'm on a "donorcycle" or a "suicide machine." The motorcycle itself is not what kills you; the onus is on the operators of the vehicle to do everything in their power to operate the unit as safely as they can while avoiding the obstacles in front of them. If we used this rationale on every tool we use in society, be it a gun, a car, a hammer, or a pencil, we would be not just be fearful of the tools, but of the things we can potentially achieve by utilizing them in a humanity-building manner.

It boils down to common sense. If it is absolutely obvious that a dangerous person has access to a dangerous object, there must be guidelines in place to make sure that the aforementioned person does not obtain the object! Unfortunately, there aren't the right policies or enough enforcement in place to block the DANGEROUS people.

For the rest of us who simply choose to live our lives in safety, the 2nd Amendment of United States Constitution affords the right "of the people to keep and bear arms" and defend ourselves from tyranny, both foreign and domestic. It's not the foreign tyranny I'm not afraid of (that's what our military is for); it's the domestic tyranny, the people within our own society who choose, by whatever influences they have, to inflict harm on their fellow man. And that is why I chose to learn how to defend myself, using the same tools used by those who work to uphold our laws. If you fall into the group of people who believe that you have the right to live your life confidently, then taking a CCW class is for you.

So after 12 hours of classroom, range shooting, and a written test, this was a certificate I was happy to earn at the end of the day. Even if you're not planning to conceal carry a firearm anytime soon, a little education about one of the most important tools in our society can go a long way. If you're in Ohio, check out the guys of 4YourDefense at http://www.facebook.com/4YourDefense. They're a great resource for any information regarding obtaining the CCW license in this state.

Food Review: Burger Nuts (Willoughby, OH)

**UPDATE: Burger Nuts at this location is closed. I do not know the current state of the actual business, but this store isn't around anymore.**

Burger King made the phrase "Have it your way" a trademark slogan for many years. Burger Nuts in Willoughby takes it very literally with a menu filled with thousands of potential combinations.

Quick Stops: Grandpa's Cheesebarn (Ashland, OH)

When I'm not on the motorcycle, I'm scouting for new places to stop when I'm back on the bike again.

Since I started working up in NE Ohio about six months ago, the 160-mile drive up and down the very uneventful I-71 became a very droning chore through the night. I would usually leave after work on a Friday to head down to Columbus, spend the weekend with Matt, and then make my way back up to Cleveland either late Sunday night or early Monday morning, rolling straight into work after a quick breakfast and an iced coffee.

A few weeks ago, I made the rare decision to leave for Columbus on Saturday morning to swing by Goschinski's Fin, Feather and Fur Outfitters in Ashland, exactly halfway between my origin and destination, to pick up a new holster for my Glock 27 (yes, that's my other hobby out here). But that wasn't my only reason for stopping off of US-250. Right next to the store is a place called Grandpa's Cheesebarn, a tourist attraction that had me curious for a while but one I couldn't see without making this exception in my regular travel schedule.

The building may look small, but it's stuffed to the gills with food, gifts, novelties, ice cream, cookies, and other nom noms.

When I entered the store, I was immediately greeted at the cafe counter and a menu with goodies ranging from fresh-baked cookies to ice cream and even paninis. I resisted all temptations and continued perusing the store, checking out the many tables full of edible goodies. Jams, chocolates, dried fruits, trail mixes, and other snacks had sample cups on display, urging me to dip a pretzel stick or mini spoon and take a taste of everything. You could hang around for a good hour just staring and sampling the treats. I really would like to know how people can work at this store without gaining at least three pounds a day from all food in this place. And that was just the first floor.

Quick Review: Best Gyros (Mentor, OH)

I had a long day at work on Friday and ended up getting out of there much later than I wanted to. So for a quick dinner I headed to Best Gyros on OH-306/Mentor Ave. to try out their $3.29 "Festival Gyro" and a .50 side of fries. This is what I received.

That's a lot of food for under $5. Quite impressive.

The gyro was pretty tasty and had an ample amount of toppings and tzatziki sauce. Other things I liked? The food was made to order and the gyros are freshly shaved off the spit. They threw in a side of ranch dressing at no extra charge (it's for my fries, don't judge me) and the cashier delivered the tray to my table. For a quick eat that's not your typical hamburger, this would be a great spot to stop. Also, they're open until 4AM on Fridays and Saturdays for you weekend night owls. Next time I'd like to try their larger, specialty gyros as well as their baklava desert. Apparently they also serve burgers and huge corned beef sandwiches as well.

Alternatively, there's a Nick's Gyros farther up on Mentor Ave. that also delivers delicious gyros and ridiculously awesome fruit smoothies. I hope to do a more extensive review on that place too as I had a great experience trying an original "Nick's Gyro," hummus, and a smoothie there for a work lunch a few weeks ago.

Best Gyros has four locations in NE Ohio: Mentor, Mayfield, Northfield, and Lee. You can visit their website at http://www.bestgyro.com/.

Appeasing my professional hockey cravings with Cleveland's Lake Erie Monsters.

As much as I'm not a fan of the state of Ohio, I am glad that there are multiple professional hockey teams here that aren't in the NHL. Like many a hockey fan out here, seeing the NHL's fourth league-wide work stoppage in its history drag on without end isn't helping my need to see flying pucks out there (when I'm not playing goalie in my own games) so I've had to look for some alternatives. Fortunately, there is hope here in the Buckeye state as there are several teams in both the ECHL and AHL, the leading 'AA' and 'AAA' professional leagues in North America, respectively.

Now that I reside in NE Ohio most of the time for my job, I am less than 30 minutes away from the Quicken Loans Center in downtown Cleveland, home of the Lake Erie Monsters, the AHL affiliate of the NHL's Colorado Avalanche. For Christmas, Matt surprised me with tickets to the next home game and a jersey to wear to my first AHL game!

That was a surprising Christmas present!

I've followed AHL teams for a while, especially during the 2005 NHL lockout. Attending an actual game was a whole new experience for me as there are no AHL teams in California, only the Ontario Reign, Stockton Thunder, San Francisco Bulls, and Bakersfield Condors of the ECHL which is a tier below the AHL. I did have the privilege of watching the now-defunct Long Beach Ice Dogs (IHL/ECHL) a few years ago when my best friend gave me a row of tickets for my birthday, which was my only minor-league experience back home. Other than those teams, anyone who watches the LA Kings, the Anaheim Ducks, and the San Jose Sharks will just have to sit tight and wait for both the NHL and the NHLPA to stop with the contractual fisticuffs.

Food Review: Melt Bar and Grilled (Mentor, OH)

On a random Tuesday a few weeks ago I had the chance to visit a newly-opened Melt Bar and Grill restaurant in Mentor at the corner of OH-306 and US-20 (Mentor Ave.). It is a place that specializes in, like its name suggests, gourmet melted grilled cheese sandwiches. There are several of these in the Cleveland area and this one was their newest, most eastern location.

When I first entered the restaurant, I was immediately bombarded with a visual explosion of wall artwork and random decor of throwback Cleveland/Ohio-related photos, license plates, and the remnants of other restaurants its high walls. I spent quite a bit of time admiring the artwork, since the wait was quite long for a table for two (I was meeting up with a co-worker), about 30-35 minutes to be exact. So I used the time to peruse the menu, that was creatively pasted on the back of old LP record jackets, and check out the eccentric decor.

The ceiling was chock full of cultural references.

Tony Bennett on one side, a grilled cheese selection on the other.

At least I know where all the lighted, plastic-molded lawn decorations go to retire.

Once we were seated in very close quarters in a half-booth with other guests flanking us on both sides, we waited another five minutes for our server to arrive. I would've figured that most customers were ready to order by then with all the downtime, and I also wondered if they were understaffed for the evening.

So I killed time by staring at the menu again. Their drink selection did surprise me. Aside from the standard Coke products that one would see at a restaurant they also had a very extensive choice of root beers and ginger ale. For that evening I went with a bottle of Boylan's ginger ale, a bit stronger than the standard Segram's or Canada Dry variety.

For an appetizer, I requested a small cup of the Roasted Garlic Tomato Soup. Their version of this very common accessory to grilled cheese sandwiches was a bit unusual in both taste and texture. It had a very chunky consistency that made the mixture not very soupy, and I found a little bit too salty for my liking - this definitely needed to be taste tested before it made its way out to the customers. For a moment I thought I was eating hot, chunky salsa and I don't mean the spicy kind.

I did find the serving plates and bowls to be quite amusing. My soup was served in a throwback mug that one would find at a yard sale. Like the old LP covers that held the menus, it gave the place a much more homely, casual feel. The Goldfish crackers were a surprise, too.

For my main course selection I went with the gyro melt sandwich which was gyro meat, onions, and cheese melted in between two pieces of giant sourdough Texas toast sliced bread. The sandwich came with a side of freshly fried french fries. The sandwiches were so stuffed that it was a struggle to get through an entire half potion. The other half became the next day's work lunch.

Top: Mushroom Melt ($9), Bottom: Gyro Melt ($11). Both include a generous helping of fresh cut french fries, a scoop of homemade coleslaw, and a pickle.

Although the restaurant's concept and menu selection was very interesting and unique, it did have a few flaws first off the top. The French fries were a little burnt and reduced to inedible chips when I reached the bottom. Additionally, I found the gyro meat in the Gyro Melt to lack a bit of flavor and it seemed to overpower the entire sandwich. On the other hand, the Mushroom Melt was very flavorful and you could taste the carmelized onions and provolone cheese. In summary, it was a lot of food to behold but I felt the flair and flavor to be lacking, and there were moments in between bites when I wondered why people would wait close to an hour for a seat here.

My verdict? It's a chill place to visit, if you're patient and have a huge appetite. Usually those two traits don't go together, and I'd have to try a few more of the entrees to really judge if it's worth the wait. Personally, I wouldn't sit around for more than 15 minutes for a table to eat here, but I guess it has enough a charm that people are willing to do that.

Melt Bar and Grilled is located at 7289 Mentor Ave. in Mentor inside of the Points East Shopping Center. You can see their selections on their website at http://meltbarandgrilled.com/.

One last ride in NE Ohio for 2012...

A few weeks ago, Matt and I went out on the bike one one of the last nicer days of 2012 in NE Ohio to the Cuyahoga Valley National Park.

One of our stops was at Brandywine Falls, a popular destination here in the park. Here are a few photos from that location.

After our visit, we scooted over to Cuyahoga Falls to have an old favorite snack at Strickland's Frozen Custard. We've known about this place for a number of years (there's a location in Irvine, CA), but this was the first time Matt had ice cream from this store in Ohio. I had gone to the original location in nearby Akron in 2009.

Due to my current living situation up here in NE Ohio, Eleanor's on vacation down in Columbus with Matt until the weather thaws out enough that I can ride every day again without risking my battery draining overnight due to the excessive cold. At the minimum, was a great detour to break the monotony of the car for just a little while.